Graham Hey

When twenty-something James Valentine pays an unscheduled visit to a fortune teller in Whitby, he is told that he’s going to meet three women that will influence his life in ways that he could never imagine! It’s the fabulously funny story of a struggling magician trying to find true love somewhere amongst the gay bars, working men’s clubs and cake shops of a West Yorkshire town. A fruit cake, an International drugs dealer and the Heimlich Manoeuvre play pivotal roles in this tale of romantic failure set during the '80s in the un-glamourous locale of Huddersfield.

Cooper McRae is going to be completely invisible for seven days. He plans to woo Lucy Pendleton - the girl at work who acts like he's invisible ALL the time, get himself one million pounds and meet his hero, Elton John. However, things don't go to plan. A drugs cartel, an ex-girlfriend's pregnancy and a neighbour with an unhealthy interest in Lego all conspire to make his week of invisibility more complicated. This is his confession. Will Lucy fall for his charms, or will she see right through him? A fabulous rom-com with a difference.

Ever stared blankly into your fridge hoping that a meal would magically prepare itself? Ever set off the smoke alarm just by boiling an egg? If you've ever felt personally victimised by a recipe that calls for more than three ingredients, welcome to your salvation: Cooking for Cretins. This isn't your typical cookbook. Here, you'll find dishes that are so easy, you'd have a hard time messing them up even if you tried. Graham, your unpretentious guide to the world of pots, pans, and panic, has got your back. Cooking for Cretins offers you a reprieve from the culinary complexities that plague those high-falutin' cookbooks with their exotic ingredients and precise measurements. Here's what you can expect: Simple Staples: Learn how to whip up a cheese toastie without burning down the house or discover the joys of spaghetti that doesn't resemble rubber bands. Budget Bites: Whip up meals that are cost-effective and nearly chef-worthy (well, almost). Say goodbye to overpriced supermarket salads and hello to home-cooked mediocrity. Bonus Swear Words: For when the toast does burn, Graham offers a colourful array of expletives that are therapeutic to shout and might just make you feel better. From one culinary disaster to another, Graham takes you on a no-frills, laughter-filled guide to cooking. Whether it's mastering the art of not turning pasta into mush or figuring out that you can, in fact, microwave more than just ready meals, this book is your go-to for kitchen survival. So, tie on your apron (it's that cloth thing you once bought on a whim), arm yourself with the least dirty spatula, and let's tackle cooking one chuckle at a time. Remember, you might not earn any culinary awards with dishes from Cooking for Cretins, but you'll surely win at feeding yourself without any fancy flairs. Let's get cooking - because even cretins need to eat!